So many thoughts are racing through my mind lately, more than ever. For those who knew me, you’ll probably know I rarely stuck an earphone to my ear, because I believe the noise of your surrounding keeps me grounded. But now, I have nowhere to hide from my thoughts other than behind the loud music banging on my eardrum.
Lately, things are happening fast and aplenty. Having winning the camera of my dream is the best thing that have happen to me, and all because I saw a chance and I took it. As if the world suddenly opened up and so many opportunity came up. One of which is a job that came to B.
It’s a part-time job and a little resembles the direct-sale. I know what you’re thinking, but I am sure this is different. I just know, and I am speaking on my clear conscious. I know if this is done in the right way, I might just support myself, my tuition fee, my everything.
Truth be told, things haven’t been easy for everyone, especially financially, and for the first time in my life, I am picking myself up, taking matters into my hands. For goodness sake, I am already 20, how much more should I burden my family, especially dad? And so, I decided to take upon this job and things have been harsh ever since.
I have been working on moocraft, and studies…and with this new job, my mind is being straint to the limit. And I have never ask for help unless it is utterly necessary. Most of the time, I’ll just solve it myself. And thank god, till now, things have been easy enough to be solved by myself all along. But now, all these requires me to almost bend down on my knee, and spare most of the dignity left in me. Still, life gives me lemon.
I am breaking down every day, but still, in the end, I’ll pick myself up, patch up whatever holes there are and there goes another day. I manage to keep myself together with just one belief, this hardship will be just a breeze compared to the sweet lifetime reward that comes after the hardship…And so, I fight on…
However still, it leaves me wonder, will I be able to keep it together until that day arrives? How much more lemonade can I make until my mind and body give in?
Funny as it seems, I’ll never know, but I am sure I don’t want to ever regret looking back and say “I should have fought longer.”
With weariness,
KC
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