Hasn’t been acting straight lately, hasn’t been thinking straight either. Been working for a month now, and at times, my laptop screen is toggling between Facebook, other sites and work. Facebook has definitely taken toll on me, yeah, it has shown my ugly dark side.
Seeing news feed updates with so many pictures from friends abroad, going places, while I am stuck in a daily routine life. I know I have a good life, but it was ‘dead’ under comparison. As day goes by, the evil green monster in me started to rage, making me feeling envious over practically nothing. Yesterday was a good wake-up call.
Enough was enough!
Didn’t want to dwell in the topic for any much longer and on that note, I apologize if I seemed like a brat over these few weeks. That wasn’t me, it was desperation.
Anyway, the post seems scattered and irrelevant, but I’d like to keep it this way.
The longer I stared at the laptop screen, the more I yearned for some real human contact. The more I crave for that, the more frequent I check up on facebook, searching for an update from a familiar face.
I didn’t know what I was doing and I was just looking for some company, someone who will join me for a cuppa and throw dozens of light-hearted talks. But who am I kidding? People are so absorbed with their own life, why would they make time for stuff like this? Perhaps I should really start moving on with my life by myself, and stop pausing for others. Or perhaps, I should start meeting new people? Or perhaps, I should stop holding on? Or perhaps, what we had has expired without me knowing. Or perhaps, you figured you were too good to be around someone as pause-sitive like me. Whatever it is, I just want to get away! I am done hanging around for someone who doesn’t even appreciates it.
This is a luxury I shall not have
With longing,
KC
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