This night, my internet connection is fuzzy as usual. I used to tolerate with it, but not this night. I've been feeling such a mess since the evening until I've finally let my temper gets the better of me. I was mad at nothing, and everything.
My headache only adds to the bad mood, and I can't even bring myself to wish him a heartful goodnight when he said he needs to get offline and sleep. I was mad, at myself, for being so demanding sometime. I'd wish he would pay more attention to me when we're talking, i'd wish he would not let our conversation run cold..There are so many things I wish you'd know, but I understand it all are not a big deal, and I shouldn't make a big deal out of it. I guess I just need time to learn to adapt to him, to his way of everything.
I can't sleep, even though he'd told me to get some rest early. So, there I was, curled up in a ball downstairs, watching TV in the middle of the night. I was flicking through channels when I finally settled for a music playlist. It was of all R&B and just what I needed. I was thinking about things that had happened today and how I'd be handling my own emotion. I was wishing he would be here, just to company me through my thoughts, but he isn't and it's just impossible. Then, suddenly, there's one song playing.."Same girl" by R. Kelly, it has something special to it. It reminded me of him, and having it playing in this wee hour of the night felt so comforting, almost felt like he's here.
Just blogging to try making the discomfort fade away. I'm feeling better now, probably it's time for bed finally. Goodnight.
With confusion,
KC
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